Fallen Soldiers March has been approached by Navy Seal Team members to write for FSM's Quarterly Newsletter when inspired, time allows and anonymity is protected. They will use the pseudonym "The Chief".
We hope you enjoy their first submission and we look forward to their future contributions.
by "The Chief," Chief Petty Officer, SEAL
Special Operations is different—and it isn’t. A certain type of man is drawn to the idea of being a soldier in the black ops. This phenomenon—a longing for a tragic amalgam of idealism, vigor, wanderlust, and duty—is as old as time. Across history, tyrants have used and manipulated this inner synthesis for horrifying evil. That yearning to become, to strive, to overcome, even to know true defeat rests in the hearts of young men who were created to serve a king and kingdom. But more often than not, they end up serving themselves and worse: corrupt governments.
This pull in my youthful heart led me to test my resolve in the fires of special warfare selection. I thought I was tough, and I wanted to prove it. I wanted adventure; I wanted to do things that mattered; I wanted to be able to rely on the men next to me in life-and-death situations, and I wanted them to be able to rely on me. I didn’t want riches; I didn’t want fame; I didn’t want girls or parties or comfort. I wanted conflict. I wanted to be up to my neck in danger. I wanted to serve my country and rid the world of evil men. I wanted to fight, and, if need be, die for a worthy cause. Men join special warfare communities for a plethora of reasons, but those were mine. I know I wasn’t alone in those desires.
I made it through the harrowing training and had scars on my body to prove it. The day I received my trident was one of the most fulfilling of my life. Years of service followed: deployments, training schedules, more selection, and more striving in more elite units. I saw young men’s bodies torn to shreds by bullets and bombs and I’ve stood at gravesides while caskets were being draped in Old Glory. In such moments, we wonder what drives men to such lengths. What compels men to fight and die for a nation that’s more and more unrecognizable to us?
That longing in young men, and still in me, is actually a broken instrument made for a transcendent glory. Red, white, and blue still strike a deep-seated ache in my heart, especially given the state of our nation these days. But America is not the kingdom.
A common occurrence found in retired special warfare fighters is similar to the one in prior athletes. Prize fighters, long past the flower of youthful vigor, often enter the ring again, only to make a shameful display. They "chase the dragon" in our military community, reaching for one last embrace of that deep-seated yearning. Being the man of the hour is hard to move forward from, once those rare opportunities are withheld. Training to an elite level and accomplishing what most people only dream of will later leave a vacancy and burning in the heart that marks deeply beneath sinew and flesh. I’ve watched men sacrifice marriages and relationships with their children, immolate their bodies and their morals, all in an effort to hang on for one more operation—one more grasp at a fading grandeur, one more journey to the pinnacle. Tennyson’s "Ulysses" aptly captures this burning fervor.
Our problem comes down to identity. Who am I? Who are you? When the military contract is up and the warrior relinquishes his body armor, rifle, and night vision goggles, and drives home as a civilian, simply and abruptly, what’s left? The longing is still there, and the new challenges—alcohol, cheap sex, money, alongside veteran status, psychological counseling, a new career, and even family—aren’t enough to raise a man from the death of not knowing who he is nor to raise him from the crisis of self.
Men need purpose like we need air. George Foreman said, in effect: a man may as well be dead without a dream. On a sidenote, I believe that’s why much of my generation of men spend their time lost in video games, pursuing any sense of adventure and meaning we can find in digital worlds where we’re strong and formidable.
Tying our identities to whatever we spend our time doing is all too easy: I’m a soldier, a plumber, a lawyer, a father, a sports fan, an outdoorsman, etc. We fail to truly understand who we are innately. When we haven’t taken that vital first step, all the journeys of life are misguided. When we don’t know who we are, we have no touch point to engage with the world. We’ll drown ourselves in work, pleasure, stoicism, wealth, or fame in our efforts to try to define for ourselves our true identities, and to become what we think we should be or to prove we’re who we want to be.
My brother says that if something can be taken from you, then it isn’t you. Think about that. Your finances, your career, family, possessions, health, your body, sanity, personality, and strength can all be violently ripped from your bleeding hands and yet you will remain.
Who are you when all is stripped away?
Special ops is different—and it isn’t. We like to think of ourselves as cut from a unique stone, above average in almost every category. Yet, we’re the same as everyone else, in that we need purpose. We’re weak, each of us, without purpose. At the end of the day, we’re but men of dust who drink iniquity like water, a distant cry from the mythical demigods that pervade mythologies and we’re further still from the one true God who created us.
Our purposes, not as special ops soldiers but men created in the image of God, is found in the pages of Scripture and in allegiance to the King of kings, the One who is far more worthy of our toiling than the nations we fight for. Thus, our issue is a soul issue, a sin issue, and an eternal issue.
The primary attribute of my identity and whole being is that I need Christ. Me! The tough, battle-scarred, barrel-chested frogman. For I am not my accomplishments; I am not the worthless medals nor the warfare designators hanging from my dress blues. I am not my scars, my experiences, nor my memories. To identify with these is a trap because they can be taken away—none of those are everlasting. I’m as weak and pathetic as any other sinner without my King. Possibly more so due to the years I’ve spent building and relying on my own sense of strength. I’ve spent undo time creating my idol of self.
Yet in Christ—the Warrior King Himself—is found everything I’ve ever longed for. In Him is purity of character, immeasurable strength and guile, peerless wisdom, ferocity for good, and the beauty of purpose. Jesus Christ is Lord of all, and serving in His ranks is the endless adventure I’ve longed for since my youth. He is the cleanser who washes away the mountains of sin I’ve erected and the One who made me new. Not only that, but He gives me purpose, the greatest purpose of mortal men for which He created me.
Sagas of old heroes support this poignant truth. Why did Achilles go to Troy? Why did Beowulf seek out Hrothgar’s Hall or Alexander assail Persia? They desired that their names be remembered and their deeds immortalized. Yet God offers us the very things so many men madly strife to gain: the chance to bleed for a glory that will never fade.
Eternity stretches out like an unfurled map, the edges extending far beyond our capacity of sight, and God beckons us to run, to strive, to fight, to die, and to live for Him and His everlasting kingdom. When we submit ourselves to His will, His glory becomes our "ever-increasing glory" (2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV). Our identities are firmly founded in the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, the All in All (Acts 17:28, John 1:12, Philippians 3:20-21).
To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. —Romans 2:7 (NIV).
To my brothers in the special warfare community and the military at large, you have spent so much time pursuing so many things. Have you considered Christ? He is real. He is here. He is worthy. Will you not take the hurt and the inadequacy within you and surrender it to Him? Will you not take Him at His Word when He says He will make you anew(Ephesians 4:22-24)?
Yes, He will demand the most of you. Like any good leader, He will require adherence to His commands. Further, He will require submission to His will, and likely call you to a life of great difficulty. But isn’t that what draws warriors? Do you want an easy life or a meaningful one?
What do you have to lose except for your soul? What do you have to gain except everything? With every step toward Christ, you become more yourself than you’ve ever been. Your identity becomes what God has defined.
He who overcomes will inherit all things. I will be his God and he will be My son. – Revelation 21:7
There is only one way to God, and that is through Christ (Acts 4:12).
However, there are many paths to Christ as we each have our own salvation story. Whether yet to embark, whether miles into the journey, and whether nearing the end, a common thread ties us together: our need for godly counsel and fellowship. I am pleased to write on behalf of Fallen Soldiers March.
I believe this organization to be an excellent resource for all military members prior and current. A priceless commodity is a group of believers who stand on the authoritative, inspired, infallible Word of God and aid others through the trials of life. May God continue to bless Fallen Soldiers March, and may Christ take every last ounce of glory for Himself.
Our lives to His honor, hail to the King!
By "The Chief," Chief Petty Officer, SEAL
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