by Pastor Joshua Smith, U.S. Army Veteran
I thank the Lord I was born into a Christian home and raised in the faith. Professing faith at a young age and being rooted in the Scriptures and the church from the start was a great and gracious providence that would prove to be an incredible help throughout my life. At the age of eighteen I joined the United States Army as an infantryman.
My father is a twenty-seven-year Army veteran, and I was following in his footsteps. Little did I know just how depraved and wicked the culture of the military is. Despite my being a believer, I gave in to much temptation and allowed my desire to be one of the guys, part of the team, to lead me down a path of sinful behavior.
In October 2012 my best friend was killed in an IED explosion in Afghanistan. This event ate at me. I couldn’t understand why he had to die. Unable to wrap my mind around what had happened and having no understanding how to seek counsel, I turned to the bottle to clear my mind and ease my pain. Eventually, I was referred to a therapist, who thankfully was a Christian.
This was my first experience learning how psychology treats someone who has gone through a traumatic event. His brotherly counsel led to me putting down the bottle, but the guilt and hurt of losing my friend remained.
Fast forward to 2017 when I made my way to the beautiful desert sands of Iraq. My deployment was fairly easy. I did not experience intense firefights, but that does not mean it was without its fair share of intensity and stressful situations. The base I was at was declared the deadliest base in Iraq during the fiscal year I was there. I worked closely with many of the others on the base, so when someone was hurt or killed, it was likely I would know the person. A helicopter crash killed eight airmen I worked with on a daily basis. There were several other combat casualties. But the worst incident was having to help load a friend into a body bag and carry him to the helicopter that would transport him to Baghdad to be sent home. While I was still in Iraq, these things did not affect me. I was able to continue doing my job, and life went on. That is, until I got back home.
The transition from being deployed to being back in my own home was a difficult one. The lack of structure and the sudden shift to the comforts of everyday life made what I saw and experienced in Iraq come to the forefront of my mind. Pretty soon the nightmares began. Sudden loud noises would cause an anxious response, and I found myself living in a constant state of hypervigilance. I had what would be deemed a mild case of post-traumatic stress.
Thankfully, in the time between the incident in 2012 and my return home from Iraq in 2018, the Lord had worked mightily in my life, sanctifying me by His Spirit. I knew I needed to seek help. I knew I couldn’t do as I had done before and turn to the bottle. But I also knew I couldn’t receive help from the VA. The VA is steeped in secular psychology, eschewing all things scriptural. But my biggest problem with the VA was that I had witnessed friends of mine go through the process with the them and ultimately kill themselves because what they provided was ineffective.
I decided I would just try to deal with the stress on my own.
In August 2020 I moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to attend the Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary. One of the required courses for my Master of Divinity degree was Intro to Biblical Counseling. I had heard of biblical counseling, but what I had heard was not good. I was what could be called a skeptic, but at this point I knew there had to be something outside of secular psychology that could provide true, effective counsel. I believed in the sufficiency of Scripture, that it is the only infallible rule of faith and life and that it contains all things that pertain to life and godliness—so why not give Scripture the opportunity to provide counsel? After just two weeks into the class, I knew this was the answer.
I decided to ask my professor if we could begin counseling to address my issues stemming from my time in the Army. I met with him for eight sessions. Through counsel from the Scripture and implementing spiritual disciplines focused directly on addressing the issues I was facing, I saw results I never believed were possible. One of the most effective things he counseled me in was to be so consumed with the Word of God that whenever something would happen that would normally cause an anxious response, I would instead develop a muscle-memory response with the Word. Every time something "triggered" my anxiety, I would immediately react by singing Psalm 46. This response eventually became something that happened without any thinking. Singing this psalm, being reminded that the Lord is a refuge to His people and that He is with us, gave great comfort to my soul. Consistent prayer before bed that the Lord would preserve my mind from the invasion of memories and nightmares led to peaceful nights once again.
I thank my God in heaven that because of biblical counseling I no longer deal with issues of anxiety or so-called post-traumatic stress. Since my experience in the counseling room, I decided to add a biblical counseling concentration to my seminary degree. I graduated in May 2022 and am now an ordained minister at Westminster Reformed Presbyterian Church in Prairie View, Illinois. Most of my duties as a pastor involve counseling, either formally or informally. I am thankful that I was instructed how to shepherd and counsel God’s people well.
For those who are in the military or are stuck in the VA system and need help dealing with combat-related anxieties, I encourage you to flee the practices of the psychologists and seek out a biblical counselor. I pray I never see another person I know decide to end their life because of the ineffective nature of the VA. If you are in need of someone to come alongside you, especially if you are in the Chicagoland area, please reach out to me. The Lord is kind and gracious and will use the Spirit working through the Word to bring about lasting effective change in your life.
by Pastor Joshua Smith, U.S. Army Veteran
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