by Pastor Kevin Arnold, USAF Veteran & ACBC Certified Biblical Counselor

God is good, but life is sometimes hard. Especially when tragedy strikes. What to do for ourselves and others in deep pain is difficult to determine, for suffering and grief can be paralyzing and overwhelming. What can you do when life brings you or others to mourning? We, as Christians, can lament to God.

Pastor Mark Vroegop talks about lament and, in summary, views lament biblically as the process of navigating grief through

• the language of loss,
• the solution for silence,
• a category for complaints,
• a framework for feelings,
• a method for your pain, and
• a way to worship God.^[1]

Pastor Mark Vroegop’s work to learn what including  lament in Christian life means leads us all to trust God in the transition from pain, brokenness, and disappointment to promise and hope." The Bible reveals lament through the Psalms. Lament psalms have a typical pattern that includes:

1. an address to God,
2. a complaint,
3. a request, and
4. an expression of trust and praise.

Maybe you’re like me and think, How dare I complain before God?! However, while choosing to trust in God’s attributes and ability to fulfill His promises, writers of lament Psalms expressed their concern that God had seemingly forgotten His promises. For example, Psalm 77 (NLT):

1. An address to God: "I cry out to God" (v. 1).
2. A complaint: "You don’t let me sleep. I am too distressed even to pray! . . . Has the Lord rejected me forever? Will he never again be kind to me? Is his unfailing love gone forever? Have his promises permanently failed? Has God forgotten to be gracious" (vv. 4–9)?
3. A request: "When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord. All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted. I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help" (vv. 2–3).
4. An expression of trust and praise: "But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works. O God, your ways are holy. Is there any god as mighty as you? You are the God of great wonders" (vv. 11–15)!

Scripture passages of lament show that it’s possible and crucial to shift our perspective from our affliction to trusting God’s attributes and abilities. That’s how biblical lamenting transforms us—by reminding us to trust in who God is despite our pain, people, and circumstances. 

The absence of Christian lament allows our suffering or sin to eventually become bondage that leads us to respond to God and life in increasingly ungodly ways.

Christian lament points to God’s desire for a relationship with us in suffering because Jesus also suffered. Jesus’s afflictions led Him to regular and continual trust in the Father. Your grief and suffering can lead you to our good and trustworthy God, as Christ Jesus exampled.

Do you need help? I believe we all do at some point. In part, God sent His Son and built His church to help those who put their faith in Christ Jesus. Biblical counselors of Fallen Soldiers March are on standby to walk alongside you—veterans, active duty military, first responders, and family members—to bring you healing and hope. Please act immediately by requesting help today.

Kevin Arnold is a pastor at Bellevue Baptist Church in Memphis, TN. He is completing his PhD in biblical counseling at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. For questions, please contact the author at karnold@bellevue.org.

by Pastor Kevin Arnold, USAF Veteran & ACBC Certified Biblical Counselor

[1] Vroegop, M. (2019) Dark clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the grace of lament. 159-160, Wheaton, IL: Crossway.

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